I was trying to think about something to write about that could be timelessly helpful my readers regardless of where they are in their lives. The topic I settled on was healthy relationships. So let’s jump in.
Almost everyone has had at least one relationship and many of us have had numerous relationships. Relationship can take any form. They can be loveship, courtship, marriage, or friendship. Each relationship differs somewhat, but also caries some of the same things that ring true across the board.
Have you ever met someone and felt as if you had known them a lifetime? Everything seemed so simpatico. They were so easy to be with and you felt so comfortable together that hours sped by like minutes. Some people cannot stay where they feel they are losing control, it is simply out of their comfort zone. You can both benefit from relaxing and letting go instead of holding back.
People young and old oftentimes carry some sort of mental baggage from their childhood, teenage years, or adult lives. This baggage stems from trauma of some sort. No two traumas are exactly the same, but again there is some overlap too. People deal with this trauma in different ways. Some people wallow in it. Others cover it up. Some might try to keep super busy to not let this mental baggage slip into their current life, but not confronting that mental baggage simply allows it to build up. This build-up can prevent us from entering into new relationships and/or building trust in relationship we already are in. When we try to control situations by keeping our distance rather than embarking on chancing a relationship we are avoiding what we believe will be the eventual pain of loss.
The truth is that not all relationships end badly and not all people are untrustworthy or will disappoint us. When relationships move forward too rapidly the pressure builds to run. Sometimes the other person in the relationship takes on the form of the chaser. This makes the runner run faster and block contact with the chaser. Dealing with their feelings is simply too painful. Instead of taking the easy way out and running a better way to approach this scenario would have been to embark on a honest, safe, non-judgmental conversation where you can find points to build upon instead of breaking things apart. If you are not confident you can do this alone ask for help. There are places where competent people can guide you in this process and help you bind the broken ties.
Sometimes one or the other over analyzes the relationship. Have you heard the phrase “analysis creates paralysis”? At this point the runners are the most fragile and fear staying in the relationship will end with a broken heart. They begin second guessing things and believing they have made the wrong decision. So they jump instead of sticking with the relationship. Running is always easier. Running protects us from the inevitable disappointment because everyone will at some point disappoint us. The runner looks inward and asks whether or not they are unlovable because they are scared. Confronting that fear head on is the only way to burn through it. Talking about your fears with your partners can help bridge the gaps and find commonality. This building points are where your relationship can being to mend and turn toward becoming healthy and fulfilling. A heart-to-heart conversation can fix a lot if you are honest and open about your thoughts and feeling and there is no judgment.